Happy Thanksgiving and whatnot. Norm:

Happy Thanksgiving and whatnot.

Norm: So, you guys going to do some of your comedy for us tonight?

Cinder: Actually, Norm, Sarah and I feel that we'd be really remiss if we didn't use this platform to address an issue tonight. Um, we were at a Maya Angelou poetry reading, um, last night with Fiona Apple. She is so wise. Um, yeah.

Sarah: Well, we were discussing the ritual torture and senseless slaughters of turkeys in the name of the gluttonous, nationalistic, patriarchal holiday that we call Thanksgiving.

Cinder: [emotional] Right, and the sickest thing that Fiona told us is apparently that one company has a 1-800 number that gives out cooking tips and recipes encouraging the mutilation and consumption of these beautiful birds!

Sarah: [puts hand on Cinder's arm] Are you gonna be okay?

Cinder: Yeah . . .

. . . So um, we wrote a song about it for all the turkeys out there who celebrate Thanksgiving.

[long pause to get guitars] . . . It's called Basted in Blood

We gather together for yams, beans, and cranberry sauce
But have you given much thought lately to the turkey holocaust?
20 million noble birds slaughtered every fall
Ain't no difference between Hitler, Stalin,
And the folks at Butterball! Butter-baaawww-aa-aaww-all!

So set your tables, America, from Birmingham to Branson
But when you carve that turkey you're a finger lickin' Charlie Manson!
Enjoy your pumpkin pie, your buttery Idaho spuds, Grandma's chesnut stuffing
and . . . a turkey basted in blood!

Basted in blood! (x3) [Sarah holds "oo" from "blood" to back up Cinder's frenzied singing]

Together: Basted in-a-the-blood, basted in blood, [Cinder sings something unintelligible in her frenzy]

[Simultaneously]

Cinder: Basted in bloo-aa-uh-ud

Sarah: Basted in blaa-ah-ha-ya-hu-uh-hud . . . . [holds]

Almeda | 28.11.02 14:16 | TrackBack