Cyber Pheromones?

Almeda, 15, Beki, 15, and Eleanour, 17, have somehow managed to synchronize their menstrual cycles. This would not be so unusual in itself; oftentimes women who live or spend a lot of time together find that the difference between the dates their cycles begin decreases. For instance, Katie and Almeda, who are not exactly together constantly, but certainly are good friends, started their periods simultaneously. For more scientific-type information about the subject of pheromones and menstrual cycles, read Regulation of ovulation by human pheromones (.pdf format).

However, although Beki and Eleanour have met, Almeda lives across the ocean from both of them. "My first theory was that Eleanour had been wearing 4 x 4 cotton pads in her axillae for at least eight hours and then flying to Pennsylvania and wiping the pads above my upper lip," says Almeda. But Eleanour denies this charge. "The only other explanation I can think of," Almeda says, "is virtual pheromones. Perhaps in talking to Eleanour and Beki on AIM, we unknowingly exchanged cyber pheromones! You can have cyber sex, why not cyber pheromones?"

Some people are skeptical. "It's entirely coincidence," says Sybarite Turpitude. "Most ridiculous thing I've heard in my life. Virtual pheromones? Pah!"

For those males out there who are totally clueless in all female matters, her menstrual cycle is something every woman from approximately ages 12 to 52 has to deal with on a monthly basis. The menstrual cycle is divided into three phases: menstruation, the follicular phase, and the luteal phase. The follicular phase is when the follicle stimulating hormone is released, eggs mature in the woman's ovaries, and the lining of her uterus thickens. The luteal phase is when the leutenizing hormone is released and ovulation occurs. If the egg is not fertilized, as is the case for Almeda, Beki, and Eleanour, who are all good Christian girls and do not approve of premarital sex, what is commonly know as "the period" occurs.

When questioned, Eleanour stated that the worst part of having a period (for those of you who haven't had— and never will have— the Menstruation Experience) is "a toss-up between bleeding everywhere and horrific agonizing pain." As for the best part, she had to think a while, but eventually answered, "having an excuse to eat an excess of chocolate, and getting to shout at people and putting it down to hormones."

Almeda agrees with Eleanour about the worst part: "killer cramps and constantly staining my unmentionables, no matter what I do. Thankfully I've got modern medicine for the cramps, though. I don't know how Cro-Magnon women survived without ibuprofen." However, while Almeda no doubt enjoys eating large amounts of chocolate and blaming her mood swings on "PMS," she says that the best part of having her period is "being in touch with my inner moon goddess and connected to all the women who've gone before me and feeling in rhythm with the earth."

Katie laments, "Tampons should come in much larger boxes, and mothers should not be allowed to already be going through "the change" when their daughters need the moral support."

Beki was not available for comment, although she states on her personal website: "but i don't feel like doing anything cause i have horrid stomach cramps (hence the i-hate-being-female) mood today." From this one can assume that she is slightly resentful at the very least of her period.

For interesting answers to the question "Would you stop menstruating if you could?" and other menstruation-related stuff visit Museum of Menstruation website. Don't miss Gloria Steinem's "If Men Could Menstruate" essay!

Almeda | 10.12.02 20:53 | TrackBack